I was having so much fun with my pet peeve tweets on Twitter and received so many great reactions, that I decided to put all of them, plus a few more, into one blog post. This, of course, also gives me the advantage of being able to add some additional comments and details, since I am no longer limited to just 140 characters. I’ve decided to list the most flagrantly irritating first and if you’re following me on twitter, I am sure you’re already aware of them.

Here for your perusal are Ver’s Pet Peeves:

1) Dweebs that fall in love with my picture and are convinced we are meant for each other after a few tweets!

Seriously, this is just not going to work and I don’t care what your reasoning may be! In the public stream, what you learn about someone is pretty limited and I would prefer someone realize that there is a lot more to me than just the way I look.

2) Men who think that just because I am a mother, I should willingly take on their kids.

3) People who refuse to be spontaneous and won’t ever step out on a limb and take a risk!

I’m not saying you have to be stupid, but in most cases, if you think about it, if something doesn’t work, you’ll end up right back where you were to begin with and really, what’s so bad about that?

4) People who either stay in a miserable relationship or won’t try for a relationship to begin with, because they are afraid of change or of getting hurt.

This one can also be applied to jobs and it really goes right along with #3 and my opinion on taking risks. Some people think I’m nuts for walking away from a 14 year marriage, but we were both miserable and just didn’t want to admit it, so why should we have kept it going? What’s wrong with changing things and trying to find happiness? Everyone deserves a chance at that, we were never in love with each other and are both young enough to move on and get what we want out of life.

5) Bouquets of flowers!

Sure, I know they’re supposed to be romantic and all that, but realistically, they just die. If you really want to show someone how much you care, there are many other lasting things you can do instead.

6) People who let their children run wild in public!

I’m sorry, you can corral  your kids and teach them to behave without being mean and abusive. I did it with my son and am proud to say I always get compliments on how well-behaved and well-mannered he is in public.

7) Children in bars!

Sorry, this is just no place for children.

8 ) Parents who insist their hell child is a little angel!

All you’re doing is raising a child who thinks they can do no wrong and this never leads them down a good path, which leads to:

9) The victim mentality!

I’m sorry, but it’s time to get real and stop blaming everyone else for your problems or criminal tendencies. I don’t care what you’ve been through, if you can think rationally, then you can differentiate between right and wrong.

10) Anyone who wears pants that reveal the crack of their ass!

I don’t care how ‘hot’ you think you are, no one wants to see that. BUY A DAMN BELT!

11) People who don’t realize their turn signals can also be turned off!

12) People who call them ‘draws’ instead of drawers!

13) People who are capable of learning, but just won’t!

14) People who can say a word correctly, but just can’t be bothered!

Such as: Picksburgh for Pittsburgh, pasketti or alumyum.

15) Lawsuit happy freaks!

Sorry, the legal system was not put in place with the intention for you to use it to make a living.

16) People who use the word ‘like’ multiple times in every sentence they utter.

17) Leaving cabinet drawers or doors open!

They aren’t that hard to close.

18) People who can’t clean up after themselves!

19) When someone empties a package and doesn’t throw it away.

20) When someone says “It’s always in the last place you look!”

Well, no shit, if I’ve found it, why would I keep looking?

21) When someone calls YOU and then just shuts up or starts talking to someone else in the background!

22) When completely clueless people insist they are an expert on any given subject.

23) When people lecture me about drinking coffee, smoking, my eating habits and etc.

I’m not making you do it, my vices, I can take or leave them at any time, so my problem, just leave me alone about it.

24) Stupid nicknames for celebrity couples!

25) People who walk around whistling in public!

Trust me on this, it’s really annoying, so just stop it, before I put some alum in your drink.

26) When someone will not admit they have developed a hearing problem and they accuse your of mumbling or not answering!

27) Anyone who talks to me like I am a kid, rather than an adult!

28) People who can’t get my first name right, even though the pronunciation is quite obvious from the spelling.

If you really are in doubt, just ask, rather than botch it completely!

29) Using abbreviations when they aren’t necessary!

If you text or tweet, you might need to do this, but otherwise…

30) When someone uses cutesy spellings!

I mean, really, what does zOMG mean, anyway?

31) Virtual strangers who worry about my sleep schedule!

If you’re a friend, that’s one thing, but when we’ve barely even tweeted each other and what you start sending are repeated messages asking if I ever sleep, then it is VERY ANNOYING! News for ya, I am an adult and quite capable of taking care of myself.

32) People who give their kids weird names….oh, wait….nevermind, just scratch that!

33) Women who wait to do their hair and makeup while driving!

Give me a break, get up a few minutes earlier and get ready BEFORE you leave the house.

34) When someone visits YOUR home and complains about your pets!

Sorry, they live there, you don’t. It is just not right to expect someone to shut them up or toss them outside, because you showed up for a visit. If you are allergic to them, then invite the pet owner to your home or go out somewhere neutral.

35) Not hearing from someone until they need or want something from you.

If you can’t be bothered to keep in touch any other time, then I am just not going to be inclined to lend you money or do anything else you ask.

36) ANYONE who asks me to BABYSIT!

37) When someone takes a bath in their cologne or perfume!

When someone tells you that you can have too much of a good thing, they are not joking.

38) Double dippers!

39) Not covering your mouth when you cough, sneeze and etc.

Why NO, I don’t wish to share all your germs, thank you.

40) Thongs! (Flip-flops for the uneducated.)

41) Finding bread crumbs, jelly, peanut butter or any other food particles in the margerine!

42) Double negatives!

43) People who cannot read without mouthing the words or saying them all out loud!

44) Those who try and convince me that I shouldn’t have stopped narcotic pain management!

Let’s see now, when I was on them, I could barely function and couldn’t get around without a cane, however, without them, I only get the occasional ache or headache and have never used a cane since. Yes, I quit high doses cold turkey and not everyone can do that and if you can’t get by without them, I am not going to bitch at you, so leave me alone in regards to my choice.

45) Those who ride on public transportation and think everyone else wants to listen to their music or cell phone conversations!

46) People who think they are going to get my phone number right away.

Sorry, I am actually really selective on who gets it and WILL NOT just give it to anyone. There’s a reason I have a cell phone and don’t allow it to be listed in any directories.

47) Conspiracy theorists.

All I can say here is, PLEASE, go find a hobby or something.

48) Abnormally flavored jelly beans!

I can handle fruit and spice flavors, but what the hell is up with things like jalepeno, buttered popcorn, peanut butter and the like? I’m sorry, these should be optional. (ATTENTION: JELLY BELLY!)

49) When someone self-righteously says “My kid(s) would never have gotten away with that!”

This was once said to me by a friend when my son, who was around 4 years old, started crying in the car. Said friend had a 14 year-old who had just gotten arrested on multiple counts of Grand Theft Auto and I AM NOTashamed to report that my response was: “I’d rather my son cry in them now, than grow up and steal them!”

50) People posting porn pics or wanting me to post some of myself.

AIN’T HAPPENING! I don’t care if you want them or want to share yours, publicly or privately, just doesn’t work for me.

I know there are more I could add, but I think I’ll stop now, before this turns into a thesis. Feel free to post yours in the comments section!

Once again a crazy inspiration I had got really popular on Twitter, I got a ton of reactions and people actually requested that I blog it and put them all together, so here we go!

(And to my cohort in crime, a special thanks and the promise of a really good chocolate cake for your contributions!)

Things you should never say to a naked man:

1. “So….can I be honest with you?”
2. “I thought it was just me, but apparently it IS really cold in here.”
3. “Could you move to the right…you’re blocking the T.V.”
4. “When you said you had a big one, I didn’t realize you were talking about your beer gut!”
5. “And you woke me up for this?”
6. “GOOD GOD! Put your clothes back on!”
7. “Wow! You have a much better body than I did when I was a man.”
8. “Go ahead, I’ll just nap until you’re done.”
9. “Well, there goes that sexual fantasy!”
10. “Yep, foreplay IS overrated.”
11. “I’ve thought about it….yeah, let’s turn the lights OFF.”
12. “Have you ever heard of Nair?”
13. “So…where’s the rest of it?”
14. “Don’t worry, everyone looks funny naked.”
15. “Oh, so that’s why they call you Wee Willy!’
16. “Bathroom…shower…that way..”
17. “It’s okay, maybe you just need some more practice.”
18. “But…does it still work?”
19. “OH MY GOD! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
20. “Nah, never mind…what’s the point?”
21. “I think they make condoms in smaller sizes.”
22. “Well, at least this won’t take long!”
23. “I didn’t know you went to the baitshop today.”
24. “Good thing for you that you have such a great personality!”
25. “Let me know when you’re done.”
26. “Yeah, that was great honey…now, could you please hand me my vibrator?”
27. “You know you’re brother was…”
28. “So that’s what your ex-girlfriend was trying to warn me about!”
29. “Can’t we just watch football?”
30. “You know, maybe if you trimmed the hair just a little…”
31. “WOW! What the hell did you do wrong in your last life?”
32. “Great, I love optical illusions.”
33. “GOOD GOD! Did you sue the doctor?”
34. “Don’t worry, we can work around it!”
35. “Gee…I am so sorry!”
36. “Uhhhhhh…let’s just skip to the smokes.”
37. “I guess those rumors about big feet AREN’T true.”
38. “Did you ever see those ads for Enzyte?”
39. “Hey, I’ve always loved a good treasure hunt!”
40. “Give me a minute…I’ve got to find my magnifying glass.”

So, what are your favorites? Feel free to add them in the comments!

I’ve seen many posts on Twitter recently from people who want to have their tweets ReTweeted by someone, yet are left sitting there wondering why no one is doing it. Well, the Wonderly is here to explain it to you and give you some tips on how to make your tweets RTable.

I am very frequently RTd, sometimes it is just for conversation, but the bulk of them aren’t, they are just my regular tweets and it didn’t take me long to discern how it works. You will frequently see my username listed on various sites among the top people being RTd on Twitter and I frequently show up in the top 3 on RetweetRadar.com.

So for you those of you that are having trouble figuring it out here are 2 of the best tips I can give you:

1) Keep your post short and sweet! Remember tweets have a max of 140 characters, if you use them all, then you don’t leave anyone room to add an RT @ and send your post on to others in the Twitterverse. I know a lot of times when posting a blog or news story, you want to post the Headline and some content along with the link, but if you use all the space, no one can RT it without doing a major hatchet job.

The simple fact of the matter is, out of fear of messing up someone else’s content or ruining the point of their tweet, there are many who simply will not bother to even attempt an RT if there isn’t enough room left to do it. Yes, some of us will, if we know the person in question doesn’t mind or they have already given permission, we will edit to RT good tweets. It would, however, be much easier if those who are hoping for an RT on certain tweets would think before they tweet and do a little editing ahead of time.

After all, what would you rather have? Your blog or site link RTd or frustrated followers who just say “hell with it?”

Some great ideas to condense your tweets can include using the same abbreviations or shortcuts that you might use while texting on your cell phone. It may look weird, but most people will understand exatly what you mean and if the grammar police do show up, send them my way and I’ll slap them for you!

Some examples:

• When possible, skip typing out a number such as six and just use 6, much simpler and 2 less characters are used.
• 4:  for
• B4: before
• 2: to/two
• no: know
• w/o: without
• w/i: within
• u: you
• ur: your/you’re
• def.: definite/definitely
• luv
• 2day
• 2morrow –some people even just use 2moro or 2mar

You see this type of thing all the time in website posts, chats or while texting. Think of how often you use LOL, ROFL or LMAO, no harm in it and everyone knows what you mean, if they don’t it isn’t that hard to ask or do a search to find out.

If I type a post that looks like this: “ROFL @mayorsam” then most internet users know I am “Rolling On the Floor Laughing” at something that was posted by @mayorsam. There is no need to type out the entire thing.

2) Make sure the content of your tweet is something others will be interested in and want to RT. It could be anything from advice, something humorous, your blog link, something inspirational, a quote or numerous other things, but if it takes up the full 140 characters, don’t expect it to be RTd.

A further note on  this, I have seen some people posting rather long tedious stories and poems and I hate to disappoint you, but you are not going to find youself getting a lot of RTs when what you are tweeting has to be sent in multiple tweets. Generally, these tweeters use all available characters, leaving no room for the RT @ and since they are posting it in multiple updates, if you try to RT it, you run the risk of the content arrive on your users screens in a completely unintelligible order. So even attempting an RT in these cases makes absolutely no sense.

Here are some examples of posts that are easy to RT:

“Palin camp eyed Clinton alliance – Jonathan Martin – POLITICO.com http://ow.ly/7L6w”  –posted by @mayorsam.

–This post, sans my quotations marks, is only 83 characters long, leaving plenty of room for any of us to ad the RT @mayorsam, which brings the post up to 96 characters, so one my followers could even RT it again, if they wish to share it.

“Top 24 Onstage Rockstar Mishaps http://ff.im/-31TVh” –posted by @ScottATaylor.

–Sans my quotation marks, this one is only 51 characters, more than enough room to add the RT @ScottATaylor and still only use 68 characters.

Now, here are some examples that are very difficult to RT, especially for those who don’t want to have to edit someone else’s tweet:

“Oh yah before I forget we want mention our blog site yet with nothing posted we wanted you to know we will blog on greenpeace OK GdNt LvYa.” –posted by @AnOldMasterJukz.

–This one, sans quotations, is exactly 139 characters and they didn’t even include a link! There is no possible way to RT this without major editing. I’ve known some newspaper editors in my day who I am sure could accomplish this, but who wants to bother when they are enjoying Twitter?

“”U R the vibrational writers of the script of your life, & every1 else in the Universe is playing the part that U have assigned 2them” ~ Abe” –posted by the annoyingly self-repeating bot@whiterabbitidea.

–Sans quotations, this one is exactly 140 characters in length, whomever typed it in did use some shortcuts, but there is still no space left to enable anyone to RT this post.

I am hoping this post might help some of my fellow tweeters who are wondering how to get on the RT train with the rest of us!

Oh, just as a side note, for those new to Twitter who may be reading this, if you do see an RT and you disagree with the statement contained therein, please contact the ORIGINAL poster with your comments, not the person who RTd it.  It seems some are under the impression that just because you RT something you are responsible for it and agree with it, however, this is not always the case. Sometimes, I might RT something that I have no interest in whatsoever, because I know there are some of my followers who do! I’ve RTd IPhone posts and certainly don’t own one!

While I thoroughly enjoy most of the time I spend on Twitter, there are times when people send messages that are, quite simply, not appropriate. I had already been considering the possibility that an article on this topic might be necessary, when I spoke to several other people who have been experiencing similar issues. The issue, of course, is that of serious flirting, or flat out hitting on someone, when such things are clearly not welcomed. 

I want to make it clear that I am not referring to those who simply call everyone love, hon, sweetie, or whatever their preferred affectionate diminutive may be. It doesn’t take long to pick up on this pattern in their tweets and realize that they don’t really mean anything by it, it’s just their way of saying they care and appreciate you. Quite often, I find myself calling people “hon” when I truly care about them and have become close to them. My friends know that I don’t do this to flirt or hit on them, but just to show they are special to me in some way.  

However, there are those, like I mentioned above, who carry things way to far and seem to misinterpret the slightest thing. I really hate to have to break it to some people on here, but an overture of friendliness or assistance DOES NOT necessarily mean that someone is interested in you. I am very friendly and open, anyone who sends me an @ will generally get some type of response, whether I say how nice it is to meet them or to ask them how their day is going. This DOES NOT however mean that I am flirting with or hitting on you. If someone does something nice for you, or states that they are single, it also DOES NOT necessarily mean they will welcome your hitting on or flirting with them. 

I really hate to have to block people that aren’t spamming idiots, but there are several I’ve had to block, because they can’t take no for an answer and just wouldn’t stop even when I made it perfectly clear that I wasn’t interested in them. I don’t like to play games or have anyone play them with me, most of us have already been through enough of that in our lives, so if I am interested in someone, they will know. If I’m not, I will also make it very clear and I would hope that they also return the favor. 

To avoid profound embarassment, I am not going to mention any of the culprits’ usernames in this article, you know who you are, but I am going to cover a few of the recent scenarios that I’ve experienced or heard about. 

One of my personal experiences was from someone who continued to be an overt flirt and constantly try to get my attention even when I made it clear several times this these actions weren’t welcomed. This man even went so far as to start calling me various pet names, which I, once again, tried to let him know were not acceptable to me. When several attempts didn’t work, I finally just flat out told him “No more pet names!” His response was to tell me that I could call him whatever I wanted and I quickly told him that he would not be getting called any pet names by me! 

Another person tried every possibly opportunity to imply that I felt some measure of love for him, even when I said I most certainly did not, he still tried to insist that I did. This, of course, only resulted in my having to tell him, in public, that this was not even remotely the case. 

Guys, I have to tell you, you’ve only embarassed yourselves here! If you can’t understand something the first time, your just kind of asking for it! 

Someone else had a rather interesting experience when he hunted up a video clip for a woman he was talking to who, for some strange reason, decided that his doing so was “romantic.” Now, how you can interpret this as romantic, I have no clue, but she most certainly did. Personally, I’d have just thought he was being helpful and considerate, especially since it is the type of thing he does all the time. I’ve seen him post song or video links for the general public or directed at specific people. He’s also a very helpful gentleman and if you are having trouble finding something online, he will try and find it for you. This, however, DOES NOT mean he is being romantic nor does it mean that he is interested in you.

Next, of course, comes the topic of DMs! Just because they are private, this doesn’t mean you are free to just send whatever you want to whomever you want. It may not bother some people, but just because someone seems friendly or flirty, they may not welcome sexually perverted messages, even in private. Yes, this has happened to me and several other people that I know. One poor female friend of mine is always getting ridiculous DMs from people who should really know better. Come on! If the person doesn’t reciprocate, get a clue! 

In addition, there are also cases of stalking via DM. If you’re sending a lot of them, even when the person is offline, pushing for all kinds of information about them, trying to get their offline contact info and pushing to meet, then yes, you are guilty! Maybe it isn’t what you intended, but it’s certainly the impression you are giving. (This is especially true if it isn’t someone you’ve been talking to regularly!) 

I am certainly interested in meeting some people I’ve been talking to on twitter and if I mention that I may be traveling their way and they seem interested in meeting up, great, but if they don’t, then pushing the issue would just be wrong. If you want to get to know a person, asking some questions is okay, but the way it normally works is:  they also ask questions and volunteer some information about themselves. If they aren’t doing so, then it’s a pretty good clue that you should stop being nebby. 

One of my person pet peeves is the phone number DM. I’m sorry, but really, this is my personal cell phone and I am just not going to give the number out willy-nilly to anyone that asks for it. That would just be stupid! I don’t give it to a lot of people, so unless it’s a wrong number, if I get a text or phone call from a certain state, I’ve usually got a pretty damn good idea of who it is and I really happen to like it that way. 

An example: I got a phone call the other night and when the number came up on my cell screen, I knew immediately who it was just by seeing the state.  (Did I tell you, by the way, that your voice actually sounded exactly like I thought it would? Oh, and don’t lose my number, again! LOL!) 

Seriously, rather than harrassing someone about how to reach them, it is really better to send them your contact information and see if they take the initiative to use it for something. If they don’t, you’ll have your answer without acting like a stalker, won’t you? 

I am sure there are other things I could add, but this is already getting pretty long, so I’ll end it here. Please, feel free to leave your own comments or lame experiences. 

This was penned for me by @swiv a fellow member of Ver’s Twitsingles and a very sweet guy. He wrote it to be sung to the tune of Copacabana  by Barry Manilow, who almost everyone on Twitter knows is my ultimate favorite artist.